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Battle Hymn of the Murder Hobos

from Songs for Gamers (EP) by Madison Metricula Roberts

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about

So many Dungeons and Dragons groups start off with noble intentions, yet slowly (or quickly) devolve into roaming the hillsides to slaughter gnolls and enrage their DM by breaking the game

lyrics

We don't keep track of money or know where our gear is stored
We don't keep up with backstories or read a word of lore
We just loose the fateful lightning of our fracking magic swords
We slaughter all night long

Glory, glory Murder Hobos
Glory, glory Murder Hobos
Glory, glory Murder Hobos
Roll initiative

We're stealing sacred objects from indigenous peoples
We're checking every trunk and barrel for shiny baubles
Genocide's a useful tool for all minor squabbles
We slaughter all night long

Glory, glory Murder Hobos
Glory, glory Murder Hobos
Glory, glory Murder Hobos
Roll initiative

Now we're so high level that we've gotten too OP
The only beings we've yet to kill are all the deities
We'll don their sacred vestments and then laugh at all the plebes
We slaughter all night long

Glory, glory Murder Hobos
Glory, glory Murder Hobos
Glory, glory Murder Hobos
Roll initiative

credits

from Songs for Gamers (EP), released October 20, 2017
Tune: “John Brown's Body” (trad.),
“Battle Hymn of the Republic”
(Julia Ward Howe, public domain)
New lyrics: Metricula and McLane
metricula.com

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Madison Metricula Roberts Raleigh, North Carolina

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